The discussion to date has been all about whether two men or two women should be allowed to marry. Increasingly that's a no-brainer "yes" answer as more and more of so called main street folks figure out that there are worse things to worry about than two guys wanting to share a tract house and a mini van.
But do you notice who gets thrown under the bus in every marriage equality discussion?
The same marriage equality activists who decry the opposition when they use the traditional marriage argument as a bludgeon are often the first to make sure that no one thinks they're taking about that icky polyamory stuff. Oh sure we should all have the freedom and the legal backing to marry whomever we choose, as long it's the "one" we say is acceptable.
Polyamory gets to stay at the back of the bus for this round (wink wink nudge nudge).
I know all the arguments about incremental steps and easing people in to acceptance, and I reluctantly agree that it's a valid, if somewhat timid, methodology. But do we have to be so quick to give the multiple love camp the heave ho? Why not simply state that polyamory isn't party of this discussion and leave it at that?
I have a number of friends in polyamorous relationships and they're complicated, no doubt. And as same-sex marriage gains ground these multiple groupings get even more complicated. Two partners marry and where does that legally leave the third? Or the fourth? Poly families are facing every legal hurdle that confront gays and lesbians and with rare exception they don't even benefit from increased public acknowledgement and acceptance. They're like the bisexuals and the transgenders in the history battle for gay rights, on the fringe looking in and not welcome in either camp.
It's time we start to enlarge the discussion on marriage equality to include polyamorous families as well. It's true that until we are all equal, we don't truly have equality.
Loren Berthelsen for Leatherati
This is a good read for more information and resources: http://www.unmarried.org/polyamory.html
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