Young Gay Blood

by Tynan Fox - tynanfox.com

There’s been quite a bit of discussion about how to attract young gay blood, mostly from older members of the leather community. Perhaps we should be asking the young gay blood precisely what they think, rather than speculating.  I’m 25 years old, and have been active since I was 18.  Like it or not, here it is.

My primary fetish is bondage; until recently, I’ve never wanted to explore leather.  Why?  I thought that in order to be into leather, you had to be at least 45 years old, 45 lbs overweight, and 45% covered in dark, thick body hair.  The only instances I ever saw Leathermen, whether on Recon, porn, or otherwise, consisted of men precisely like that.  When I was 23 I finally met a sexy guy close to my own age into leather.  What a changing experience that was.  Even without this, I wanted to go to IML badly for years and years, thanks to all the crazy stories friends told.  Finally, this year I had the time and money to do so.  Why would I do that, if I’ve admittedly never been that enthusiastic about leather?

I attended because I wanted to get laid, and meet other guys into bondage.

Meeting people, seeing kinky friends who I never see, screwing around, getting tied up and tying guys up, buying new gear. Could I tell you who won the last 30 IMLs?  Not a chance.  Could I tell you who won just last year?  No.  What about who the judges are, what they do, etc.?  Not one bit.  Hell, I don’t even know where the contest was located in the hotel.  I thought this was painfully obvious, but here it is, plain and simple: young people new to the scene just aren’t interested in the contest.

I feel sorry for Mr. Balls and those who’ve been around the block a few times and feel similarly.  I’m sure the future of “leather” isn’t turning out how you imagined it.  I’m sure that makes you angry, frustrated, hurt, and misty for the olden days.  There are more and more guys at IML who are into rubber, sports gear, military gear, spandex, and hell, some who just enjoy kinky sex regardless of what they’re wearing.  Surely this isn’t the future you had in mind when you started going to IML ten or twenty years ago.  

We won’t apologize though.  We can’t.  You are, in fact, the ones who taught us not to.  We’re fearless and eager to show the kinky world what we love.  This level of defiance should make you as proud as us.  It shows we have respect for you, our elders – if IML, leather, or the old guard community hadn’t defied standards of sexual expression, we wouldn’t be here today either.

Can groups still be exclusive?  Absolutely.  The IML contest is still exclusive; this year’s winner is a man.  There is no “damage” to the leather community done by this year’s IML winner.  In fact, I applaud him.  That contest has some steep competition and a triumphant win by such an accomplished man shows me that the judges are looking for a leader, not some dumb muscle head who knows how to flex on stage.  They want someone who will make a difference, and he already has.  Contrary to any potential “damage” Mr. Balls has disputed, this winner has made me perk my ears up to what is happening with the actual contest.  

Despite our differences and your disappointment in me, I still consider Leathermen everywhere to be my brothers.  I am one of you.  You haven’t made it easy though, because believe it or not, your words aren’t falling on deaf ears.  We’ve heard the disappointed cries of the seasoned Leathermen everywhere.  We know we’re not what you wanted for a future of leather. Frankly, it makes us feel unwanted.

If your goal is to bring more young and kinky guys into the leather community, please, stop trying so hard to drive us away.

Comments

[Sir Justin- Mr. Boston Leather 2010]

Tynan-

I guess I'm one of the younger generation (being still 35 makes me a 'Generation X' leatherman). There was a few of the contestant in their 30's as well- also makes them a Gen X too.
I wouldn't need to repeat what I have mentioned in my article ('A Respectful Response to IML Dissenter'), One thing we can learn from the old guard is Family, and community. We cannot lose that, otherwise it would have truly died out then. So next time you see your "kinkster" brother, give him a hug, and a kiss. You meet a new "kinkster" guy next to you, say "hi". Don't forget community and family.

[tbone]

amen, bro.

[West]

There are tons of young, kinky queer people who feel exactly the same way. Thank you, Tynan for your thoughtful, honest article.

[Tulku Rinzen]

Namaste!

[Loki MadMonk]

This is precisely how I feel.

How can we be sexually free when other would have us put "standards" on our sexual freedom?!

The first "leather men" were not these Tom of Finland German officer types. "leather men were just gay men that society gave a sexual "standard" to.

Their sexual standards were to go home post war find a woman and have a 1950s household with babies and loveless marriage. Sleeping with other men is forbidden.

So these guys bought surplus motorbike and riding leather (which was brown and ugly and only used for safety) and defied the standards and fucked who they wanted to fuck and loved how they wanted to love and ignored those who would impose their "standards" on them or their friends.

being a "leather" man is about embracing your sexuality fully and apologetically with out fear. and Loving and bonding with those who do the same. as our for-bearers did.

rubber,sports gear bears cowboys, skins

if they hold true to this one thing they are leather folk

so go wear what you want to wear and fuck how you want to fuck and love who you want to love and i will call you family.

Impose "standards" and throw my family out the door and I will throw you out of my heart.