Leatherati Voices

The Leatherman's Protocol Handbook - Review by Guy Baldwin

Mortification of the Flesh - by Daddy Ryan

Southwest Leather Conference

Showcase - KinkLab Neon Wand® from Stockroom.com

  RSS    Facebook    Twitter    

Community Burnout - Part One

by Leland Carina

As a new, eager Leathergirl I often heard warnings from well-intentioned community members that went something like, “don’t take on too much, you will burn out.” However, like many rookies, I wanted to do everything that everyone asked of me. I wanted to make the community better with my presence. I wanted to please.

I loved the work. I still love the work. It turns out that for me burn out is more complicated than simply over-committing. In analyzing my experience, I realized that I wanted to reach out to others to get a wider viewpoint on the subject. I asked many questions... what exactly is burn out? How can we help others who are experiencing it? What are strategies for dealing with it? And, if we do burn out, how do we come back? 

Please note that since this is a challenging subject, the content of the definition section is difficult. Please keep in mind that the follow-up article will be more positive, covering strategies for overcoming burn out and re-entry.

*** Definition 

The term ‘burn out’ is quite often used to describe a wide variety of behaviors and circumstances. In order to think about the issue, it is important to first get a better idea of what people mean by it.

If you’ve been to any event in San Francisco in the past 10 years, chances are you’ve seen Rich Stadtmiller taking photos. Rich starts us off with a very succinct description, “Commitment often leads to success, which often leads to over-commitment, which can lead to exhaustion. Exhaustion, combined with demoralizing effect of frustration brings on burnout.”

Advice for the Cisgendered

Editor's note:  Althought not specifically leather/kink related, I like this article because regardless of the skin we wear or the sex we have, we can all use an occasional primer on personal interactions.

by Sailor

I generally don't talk or write that much about my gender here...or really at most places 'cause I'd like to think that those who's opinions on me I really care about already know in some manner. I've done a lot of workshops related to the topic (gender and gender identity that is, not MY gender specifically) because although I don't really fancy myself an "educator" in any way, I as a member of the trans and genderqueer communities, would like to think that people in general have the potential to treat people like us with respect if they are informed, and given the opportunity. In that spirit, I'd like to offer my cisgendered friends the following (hopefully helpful) suggestions:

If the subject comes up, and I tell you that:  a)I identify as trans/genderqueer/gender-fluid, and that b) my pronoun of choice is "she" just respect what I just said, and TRY to remember it.

Again, I'm pretty up front about my gender identity if asked, and I am generally really easy going as far as pronouns go. Slip ups happen. All I ask is that people try to remember. However, if I tell you my identity and pronoun of choice and you start making me prove it, or say some BS thing like "you don't LOOK trans we've got problems.

If you screw up on my pronoun and identity, apologies are fine, but don't make excuses, don't try to blame me, and just simply don't do it again.

On a related note, if you have a question about what pronoun a friend of mine goes by, don't ask ME, ask THEM! 

This is honestly not so bad when it comes to crap people do. It's just that if you have a question about someone's identity, and you've got it in you to ask it, why not just ask the person? Just 'cause I identify as trans doesn't mean that I'm going to know how another trans person identifies. Even if I do, more often than not I don't want to be put in a position where I'm talking about, or speaking for someone else. Save yourself a step, and spare me the risk of feeling more awkward and just ask the person. if they say they don't wanna talk about it, just move on but I'm not another trans person's spokesperson. 

Mortification of the Flesh

by Daddy Ryan, Seattle Leather Daddy 2012

Mortification of the Flesh, why do I do it? Well, Let me divide that answer into two sections: #1 Spiritual Reasons, #2 My responsibility as a Sir. What do I do? I scourge myself every month, and once a year I abstain from sex for a minimum of 1 month.

The Spiritual

Mortification of the Flesh is a tradition that spans many religions, although most commonly known in Catholicism. I am not Catholic, so this is what I get from it: By scourging myself I am reminded that my body is a part of the material world, it will die and fade away. I am reminded that to stay grounded. To find truth in the world around me, I have to release my attachment to the material, and look for what's beyond that. The pain I feel is, well, an illusion of the material world, not something that I should dwell on. Dwelling is the route cause of suffering. By dwelling in our ilusions (mainly the thought that "what is happening, shouldn't be") we are the cause of our own suffering. Therefore, I scourge myself so that I do not suffer, I stay grounded, clear, ready to experience the world around me without illusions or distractions.

Abstaining from sex reminds me of the value and power of my sexual energy. I won't lie and say it's easy- no, it can be pretty difficult, but it's worth it. I'm also reminded of how much energy I spend on sex. So much energy given to others. The time of abstaining is a time to bring that energy back within myself. A time to respect the sanctity of that energy. 

Old Guard - Leatherati Town Hall Meeting

Join the conversation in our first-ever Leatherati Live Town Hall meeting at 1 PM on February 4, 2012.

Today we're discussing Guy Baldwin's review of John D. Weal's The Leatherman's Protocol Handbook
 

Leatherati Virtual Town Hall - Old Guard Protocol

Be here for the first-ever Leatherati virtual town hall meeting today, Saturday, February 4 at 1 PM PST

It's happening right here

The Leatherman's Protocol Handbook - Author's Review Rebuttal

Editor's foreword:  Master John Weal's rebuttal of the editorial review presented by Guy Baldwin appears below.  We asked Master John to clarify several statements concerning documents which purportedly support the veracity of his handbook, however Master John indicated that he is not legally able to do so.  

by Master John Weal

Well first off, I am very flattered to have Guy Baldwin review my book. Obviously it has caused many people to talk about Old Guard and the Protocols. To be the second review he has ever written, well what can I say? I didn't know the book would rise to this kind of attention. The book is currently being edited to fix all of the grammatical issues. As published, the book is sometimes labor intensive to read.

Due to his wonderfully eloquent use of words and old photos Guy captures us as his review unfolds. Yet, no proof is ever offered. We only see his statements about knowing certain people and his subsequent conclusion that Old Guard did not exist. Many who follow him have commented on Leatherati’s website raving of his review, yet these are the same people who were contacting Guy in the first place asking for his comments about the book. I am sure he has much better things to do with his time than to review a book of any kind, but over the last ten months he has been emailed and talked to on several occasions and has really been put in the position that he could not refuse the review.

Let’s begin with a definition. Guy chose to use www.dictionary.com.  Here is a definition from Merriam-Webster's website:  “handbook” noun - 1. a: a book capable of being conveniently carried as a ready reference : MANUAL, b: a concise reference book covering a particular subject

Isn’t that what this book is? It doesn’t have to be instructional as Guy states, nor does it have to be anything in particular other than useful information. I’d like to think there is lots of useful information if one really reads the book all the way through.

Guy makes several statements about the book and what he feels is the intent, but never clarifies what he means. Guy also states in the beginning and I quote,

“After all, I reminded myself, personal stories can be useful because they help illustrate the tremendous range of local variations that we know existed during the Old Guard days of gay leather. In fact, I’ve spoken and written extensively about that regional variation - most recently right here at Leatherati.com:”

http://www.leatherati.com/leatherati_issues/2011/09/the-old-guard-classical-leather-culture-revisited.html

The Leatherman's Protocol Handbook - Guest Editorial Review by Guy Baldwin

Editor's foreword - Some months ago, after a soul-satisfying dinner of Chicken Korma with Guy Baldwin, our after-dinner conversation turned to leather history and the "myth" of the Old Guard.  It's a topic that I'm keenly interested in for a variety of reasons including a tendency to pretentious pre-occupation with Old Guard protocols that I see in our various communities, and that, despite growing my leather eye-teeth in San Francisco, I've never seen one shred of evidence that the Old Guard, as it's currently mythologized, ever existed.  

As it happened a new book, in fact a new "handbook", had just hit the scene and was making a big noise with accolytes lining up to sing praises and critics to heap abuse.  I asked Guy if he'd seen it.  I can only describe his look as withering.  "Yeeeesssss," he said, drawing out the response.  "And I'd be happy to review it for Leatherati but I refuse to buy a copy and put money in the author's pocket."  So of course I purchased a copy (we weren't offered a review copy) and had it express delivered to Guy.  I won't tell you his reaction but I believe it was a reference to my having maternal carnal relations.

But the gauntlet had been thrown and Guy rose to the occassion.  And by the way, this is only the second book review Guy has written and judging by how excrutiating he found it to write this one, it's distinctly possible there will not be a third.

Both the book, and the subsequent review have distinct viewpoints.  Beyond those, I think the most important dialogue we can have is "why".  Why is the Old Guard important?  Why are many of us seeking a connection to it?  Or disavowing it entirely.  Why does it matter to us, in 2012, what a bunch of leather guys may or may have not been up to in the early days?  I encourage you to link this review far and wide and let's start that dialogue.  

Loren Berthelsen, Editor in Chief

And now, Guest Editor, Guy Baldwin, offers his review of The Leatherman’s Protocol Handbook: A Handbook on “Old Guard” Rituals, Traditions and Protocols by John D. Weal Published by The Nazca Plains Publishing Company, 2010 Las Vegas, Nevada  ISBN:  978-1-935509-76-9

Age Play Versus Pedophilia

by Angel Propps

A few days ago I found myself staring at a thread and wondering if I had read the post correctly or if I had had some sort of stroke and was hallucinating. The thread itself was about criminal behavior, and whether or not it is acceptable. What got me was the theory put forth by one gentleman that proposed if pedophiles were busy playing with and having sex with Littles and other AgePlayers they would likely not be out molesting children.

My answer was both reasonable and collected. I managed that feat by writing it on my Word Doc and erasing every angry word and then taking an hour long walk before editing that reply once again.

To think that anyone would assume that it is okay for a pedophile to be allowed to roam free in our Community—for the greater good of the world of course—is simply something I cannot wrap my mind around. I know the various misconceptions that go hand in hand with AgePlay: we are all incestuous or victims of trauma who are continuing our victimization, our small slice of the community is rife with pedophiles, we are all escapists etc.  That post angered and upset me because not only did it assume that those things are true, it assumed that we AgePlayers are okay with pedophiles and that we would like nothing more than to have them with us.

Risky Business - In Praise of Contests

By Deborah Isadora Wade 

I have won two contests in my life.  One was Ms. Alameda County Leather 2009 with Richard Sprott as my Mister.  (I tell you there is nothing better than having a brilliant, handsome sash husband.)  The other contest was the 1954 Most Beautiful Baby of Washington State.  I had a perfectly shaped head (my mother kept the scoring sheets).  Of course as a toddler I had no choice to be in a contest, as an adult I did.  I won both. In what other community would a fat, feminist, ferocious, flawed femme win a contest based on image, personality, smarts and service?  Really!  Think about it.  

Contests are radical.  Contests are the radical body and front stage performance of alternative sexuality.  They support the amazing acceptance of body.  I find fat women and men who live in their bodies who are able to display them with sexual elation knowing they are beautiful, sexy and hot fucking inspiring. Leather contests are about putting the radical belief that how and who we fuck or want to fuck or dream about fucking is not a disease.   Contests support “in your face” joy and power of living our sex out loud.  Sexuality is part us from birth to our last breath.    Sexual power exchange is powerful and extremist; contests celebrate both.

Contests are fun.  Although competition can be fierce, it is supposed to be about being present and visible as a kinky sex pervert.  If you define kinky sex pervert as anyone who as any other kind of sex outside the missionary position, that about covers all of us. We live in a global world with thousands of miles between friends and family.  Contests bring us together to just be, to laugh, to visit, to play, to feast, to celebrate, to just fuck around and to smoke cigars while getting a blow job on the balcony.  In 2009 at IMsL I remember being in the hospitality room for the Cigar and Boots Party.  As one of the few sober people in the room I leaned back against the wall and wallowed in the energy of laughter and moans.  Gloriously fun!  I delight in the memory of partying with Randal Kinnear, Olivier Pratt and PupSparky at 2am in Dallas after the International Master and Slave Contest (during the always yummy South Plains Leatherfest) at IHOP.  Oh, yes.  Fun.  Laughter.  Funny people.  Needles.  Caning bois.  Watching Lenny Bromberg and Donna Sachet banter; fun is a good reason!

Ask Leatherati: Not a boy, Yet Has a Daddy

Dear Leatherati

I am a long time sadist and leather top. However I took a older versatile boy home and somehow he flipped me. He didn't do any S&M activities just hot hardcore piggy fucking. The problem is that in my community this is viewed as unacceptable. I have very intense feeling for him but it is messing with my head to the point I am even considering moving out of town.  

Signed,

Not a boy, yet has a Daddy

 

Dear Not a boy... 

My first question to you is this.  How are problems with your actions manifesting themselves?  Are you finding yourself unable to continue to fulfill yourself as a sadist and leather top?  Are subs not respectful of you because you like to get fucked by a particular boy?  Or do you perceive it's unacceptable behavior for a top to enjoy being fucked and you find yourself needing to limit your activities in order to be able to feel fulfilled and competent with the rest of your sexuality?

If your community is disparaging you or your reputation - stand up for yourself.  Remind those who challenge you that one's competence as Sadist or Dom has nothing to do with one's desire to enjoy sex in either an active or passive manner.  There is no small number of tops out there who enjoy being fucked or giving a great blowjob.  Those are sexual activities which may or may not involve power exchange.  Not every interaction is about power exchange.  Sometimes hot sex is simply hot sex. If any specific person challenges your right to identify as a Sadist, call them out.  Ask them to publicly state that they never have sex without it being in the context of an SM experience.  Ask them to publicly state that they live their life 24/7 as a Dominant in all aspects of their life.  We are all complex beings with a variety of different selves living in us.  Our work self may be quiet and subdued, while our power self is a strict Dominant.  I believe that it is a very rare person whose various selves are all aligned in the same fashion.