Tynan Fox is a regular contributor to Leatherati. We love his POV from the young kinkster world. Plus, he's pretty much a hottie!
At first, I thought that the fundraiser argument was one that didn’t affect me much. Hell, I’m just happy that the Minneapolis Eagle (oh, I’m sorry, it’s called “eagleBOLTbar” now) is still throwing leather events of any kind. The events held in my neighborhood haven’t been centered on raising funds for any group or charity, and yet, I feel compelled to write on this topic.
Please do not let the words I’m about to say mislead you; I really do believe in charitable organizations who do good works for needy people. I am sure that organizations like Constipation Relief for American People (CRAP) do some great works to decrease the amount of stress and strain in Americans. (I believe most of their work is done in more conservative states in the Midwest.)
However, CRAP and similar organizations need to solicit their funds elsewhere. CRAP has no place at leather events, although they may have more success at scat parties.
The price of admission to our community is far, far too high. Regardless of age, if someone walks into a leather bar or leather event in regular street clothes, he is scoffed at by the leather and rubber men for not having on any gear. Never mind his feelings. Perish the fact that he couldn’t afford them, despite his wildest dreams. Forget about the heart that pumps latex through his veins. Ignore the hard on he has from the smell he whiffed as he walked into the bar. Does it occur to the kinsters that he doesn’t just want YOU, but he wants to BE you?
But it gets worse. Once he’s there, CRAP is throwing a shit-show, touting how much good they do in improving the lives of others in remote parts of the world, so you should donate money in large quantities, please! So what’s happening here? It’s one of the best, oldest marketing strategies of all. Guilting people into donating money to charity is one thing, but this CRAP has done something much worse; the leatherless man now feels guilty about spending his money on gear rather than donating to charity. He has a choice to make. Buy some gear for himself and finally enjoy it, but risk being treated as scum for not donating. Or he can throw his money down the CRAP-hole and continue being incomplete to satisfy the deathly egos of others.
I appreciate the history of donating money to charity. Though I never lived through it, I eternally appreciate the lengths leathermen went to, making sure everyone was fed, clothed, and bailed out of prison in the 1950s-1980s. That’s the kind of community that I wish we had more of today. But our own spirit of generosity in encouraging these donations of time and money has backfired on us in creating a social climate of elitism.
I couldn’t afford the price of admission while I was in college, so like so many other 20-somethings, I suppressed that half of myself. The only gear I had was the rope I had bought from Home Depot, and that wasn’t going to impress anyone. Even today, my friends worry about what they’re going to wear to IML, and a couple feel as though they aren’t welcome there because they won’t have any gear on.
It will be years before I am financially as stable as I would like. With today’s economy, the recession, and the housing market crash, the situation has only been worse in recent years for our community. The young and the broke cannot afford to be perfect as they yearn to join us as brothers. And damn the organizers of these events for expecting it of them.
To any gearless gear-freak out there who’s torn between spending their hard earned few dollars on a new piece of leather, rubber, or sports gear versus making a donation to a charity, I urge you to follow your heart. You don’t have to be rich to be one of us, and you deserve to be happy just like all the constipated Americans. Some people are worse off, yes, but I, for one, won’t look down on you for spending some hard earned money to make yourself a little more complete.
To the event organizers, think of some charity that directly benefits leather community members. Flush the CRAP down the toilet if it has nothing to do with our community. We can’t afford it. The false truths you spew through the image you portray are making the next generation feel they aren’t welcome because they aren’t rich.
To any other community member out there who reads this, consider donating your gently used, unwanted gear to a younger or broker community member who may not be able to afford it instead of putting it up on eBay. Making someone one step closer to complete is a real charitable donation. All gear is wanted and needed in this world, and you probably weren’t thinking about resale value when you bought it in the first place.
This elitism is causing more damage to our community than it’s worth. Those who spread it can choke on their own CRAP.
~Tynan Fox
@Reid - could you clarify your statement 'I expect the older, established guys to ante up' please? Ante up for what specifically?
Tynan. Hell yes you should go out and spend your hard earned money on yourself.
Posted by: Hobbit Joost | 04/28/2011 at 06:39 PM
Good article, Tynan...I wanted to make a few comments in my own interpretation of this.
I don't think young guys that are just starting their journey into kink and fetish should worry about this too much. They should be focusing on having experiences and gaining a wardrobe/gear arsenal.
As an organizer of events supporting charities, I understand the plight of young guys and would never expect them to contribute unless they wanted to. I expect the older, established guys to ante up, however; and the ones that consistently don't go in my bad books. I think most organizers comprehend the young=poor generalization and are just happy to have the young guys show up to their events. The ones that don't and are expecting you to cough up dough are probably not very well-informed organizers which puts to question the quality/sensitivity of the event they are hosting.
What is the appropriate age to start contributing to your tribe? Well, I guess that is a personal thing and when you feel stable enough to do so, you will, or, er, you should. The cheapskates can be sniffed out in a crowd if they avoid their 'responsibilities' consistently, and soon enough they are filtered out.
At least that's the way it works out in the perfect world in my head....
Posted by: Reid | 04/21/2011 at 03:10 PM