by Angel Propps
A few days ago I found myself staring at a thread and wondering if I had read the post correctly or if I had had some sort of stroke and was hallucinating. The thread itself was about criminal behavior, and whether or not it is acceptable. What got me was the theory put forth by one gentleman that proposed if pedophiles were busy playing with and having sex with Littles and other AgePlayers they would likely not be out molesting children.
My answer was both reasonable and collected. I managed that feat by writing it on my Word Doc and erasing every angry word and then taking an hour long walk before editing that reply once again.
To think that anyone would assume that it is okay for a pedophile to be allowed to roam free in our Community—for the greater good of the world of course—is simply something I cannot wrap my mind around. I know the various misconceptions that go hand in hand with AgePlay: we are all incestuous or victims of trauma who are continuing our victimization, our small slice of the community is rife with pedophiles, we are all escapists etc. That post angered and upset me because not only did it assume that those things are true, it assumed that we AgePlayers are okay with pedophiles and that we would like nothing more than to have them with us.
And why the hell would anyone assume any Younger would suffer the attention of a pedophile? Perhaps it was stated because that person had no idea that the true nature of an AgePlay based dynamic is one of trust, love and nurture. We are engaged in behavior whose very vital core is created by those things.
The dynamic between a pedophile and victim is made up of shame, fear, guilt, pain both mental and physical and whose purpose is to keep the victim locked into the secret. Pedophiles do not build their victims self-esteem, they destroy it. Pedophiles are not there to give, they are there to take. They do not love their victims; to a pedophile love is simply one more bargaining chip.
In AgePlay power is given. In abuse, power is stripped away without consent.
Pedophiles do not give their victims any choice. Ageplay relationships are hinged on consent.
While I agree wholeheartedly that something has to be done about the staggering amount of childhood abuse, deciding to simply hand people who are AgePlayers over to pedophiles in the hopes that it will focus their attentions elsewhere, is not the cure. I suppose next it will be suggested that in order to rehabilitate rapists we should allow them to do rape scenes with anyone at any time they want and if the bottom is not all that willing we could always just chalk it off as suffering for the greater good. Yes, that was sarcasm but it is an undeniable truth that once we go down that road, deciding that we can cure these types of issues by simply opening up our gates to these criminals there will be no end to what we become willing to excuse.
Angel Propps is Ms.SouthEastLeatherFest2011, the partner of Sir OB, and an internationally published writer of horror, lesbian BDSM erotica, poetry and music. Her current schedule includes attending and presenting at various events across the US, running for International Ms. Leather 2012 and reading for Ravenous Romance’s Reading Series in NYC, all while working for a Green Energy Company.
While I’m not familiar with the original post Angel is referring to, I think she’s making some incorrect assumptions about the nature of sexual Age Play. Perhaps in the original post the people are, in fact, all convicted pedophiles, but she doesn’t make that clear in her article. So we’re left with the impression that that anyone interested in sexual Age Play with a Little is a pedophile. And I don’t believe that’s true.
Kink covers a wide variety of play. And playing with taboo subjects is at the heart of what we do. BDSM, kink and fetish allow us to explore situations in which we ordinarily would not find ourselves, and in fact might be repelled by in real life. Kink allows us to explore the forbidden in a safe setting, where consent is paramount.
And there are some people in the AgePlay community who play with sexual activity between Elders and Littles. I’ve seen ads for Little parties where the innocent activity is upstairs in the dungeon, and those who wish to go downstairs can have a more sexual experience.
Angel states that anyone interested in exploring the boundaries of sexual activities with a child wouldn’t be satisfied with an adult Little. But I’ve seen scenes where exactly that happened. I know a couple where the man has admitted he’s attracted to children, and that their age play is a way for him to act on his urges. I can’t say if he would actually molest a child if he didn’t have this outlet, but it certainly does fill a need for him, and in a way which is safe and satisfying for both parties involved.
I agree that convicted pedophiles who prey on children are not welcome in our community. But I think the intersection between age, consent and sexual desire is more complex than this article allows.
Posted by: Rio Spooner | 02/06/2012 at 04:15 PM
I read your impassioned article about pedophilia versus ageplay. I respond with the following not as a criticism, but as a critique. What you have to say is important to continue to educate, so it’s important to refine your writing.
On the whole there is nothing that I would disagree with. But there are a couple of details.
Firstly, you started out your article saying that you had ‘found yourself staring at a thread….’ But you did not give any information to aid the reader in going and reading the thread that prompted your writing. I would like to go read that thread, please provide a link or enough information so that I can do so.
You use the word pedophilia repeatedly in your article as the descriptor for people that have illegal and inappropriate sexual contact with children. Pedophilia is defined in wikipedia as ‘a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents (persons age 16 or older) typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children.’ (Wikipedia is not an authoritative source, however it represents popular opinion/knowledge.)
In your first sentence you say ‘To think that anyone would assume that it is okay for a pedophile to be allowed to roam free in our Community’, and then throughout your article you use the word pedophile. A pedophile is somebody that finds prepubescent children sexually attractive. It does not define an actual act. So a person that closes their eyes, creates a fantasy in their head about prepubescent children, and masturbates, but never acts upon that fantasy, is a pedophile.
Perhaps you do mean that somebody that has a fantasy in their head, but never acts upon it should not be allowed in our community. But I think you don’t. You use ‘rapists’ as a comparison, and one assumes you mean somebody that actually has or fully intends to rape somebody, and not a person that closes their eyes, creates a fantasy in their head about rape, and masturbates, but never acts upon that fantasy.
So I am taking a guess that what you actually mean are people that commit illegal acts, or fully intend to commit illegal acts, having sexual contact with prepubescent children. If I am correct, I would encourage you in future writing to change your wording from ‘pedophile’ to ‘convicted child sex offender’ or ‘convicted child rapist’ or ‘child rapist’, to more accurately define the type of person that should not be allowed into our community.
And of course, just like any self-identified member of the leather community, ageplayers included, our sexuality is present for ourselves and does not exist to serve the therapeutic needs of another.
I don’t do ageplay, but ageplay is a part of our community and to educate about what it is, and how it is distinguished from pedophilia; the desire to have sexual contact with actual children, and child rape is important and I encourage you to continue to do so.
Posted by: Hobbit Joost | 02/05/2012 at 12:06 PM